Do you ever feel overwhelmed or pressed for time or emotionally strained?
These could be signs that you need to set personal boundaries.
A personal boundary is a figurative line that one draws that one will not cross. It is a limit of what you can take on a personal level and in relationships.
Boundaries can be physical, emotional or a time constraint. Boundaries can be flexible, given a certain situation. But should not be negotiable.
People do not set boundaries to control others, rather, they are set for self health and self-regulation. That is to say that one is aware of what 1 can take or what 1 cannot take.
We’ve set boundaries to regulate ourselves, our relationships with children, our relationships with lovers, or our relationship with friends and even strangers.
Boundaries can be porous at 1 end of the scale or rigid at the other end. Healthy boundaries can also be set in the middle.
With porous boundaries, you are usually okay with almost everything. Rigid boundaries are a line that cannot be crossed. So lets look at what this may look like.
PHYSICAL VOUNDARIES
Physical boundaries deal with our physical self. They deal with personal space and physical contact or touch. Most people have very rigid physical boundaries. These limitations are usually different from friendships and strangers. As opposed to children and lovers.
Your personal space or bubble as I like to call. It is a set area around you where you do not want others in your energy frequency and vibration.
Because of COVID, most people have adopted a 6 foot or 2 m rule. Our children and lovers usually do not have to follow this 6 foot rule. It it’s very healthy to have different limits on different people in your life. A typical boundary that most people set is that it is never okay to hit me. this is a boundary that is non Negotiable.
Physical boundaries are important in relationships as well. in a healthy relationship, the boundaries are set up at the beginning of the relationship. tickling or play Fighting are, 2 typical things that one person’s boundaries may be different than another’s.
We shall look at what happens when boundaries are broken after we have looked at all of the different boundaries.
EMOTIONAL BOUNDARIES
Boundaries involving your emotions are perhaps the most difficult and challenging ones. negative emotions, such as racism or sexism, are commonly what we think about when we talk about emotional boundaries. helping others sort out their problems, listening and letting them vent are also things that this topic will involve. often, they are circumstantial and situational and vary from one person to the next. if you feel yourself weighed down or overwhelmed by another’s emotions and thoughts, then perhaps it is time for you to set a new boundary.
I have a friend in particular that we have decided we will not speak of politics. in today’s world, the political environment can be completely different from one person to the next. as well, it may be important for many people to distance themselves from someone with racist or sexist thoughts.
In a relationship, emotional boundaries are very important. there can be a fine line between being emotionally available and supportive to your partner and being overwhelmed and pressured. during the honeymoon phase of a relationship, many people allow anything to go. doing so will unfortunately lead to problems later. occasionally, you will need to listen to your partner or your friends when they have a problem. it is important though to set your boundaries. And if you believe you cannot help them, tell them so. be up front about these boundaries, or you may find yourself being played or used.
Remember that it is you who will feel emotionally overwhelmed or manipulated. If you don’t set these boundaries.
THE TIME BOUNDARY
If you have absolutely nothing going on that day. You may have all the time in the world. giving strangers or friends or family members, time, it’s something that is entirely situational. if you only have a few minutes to talk, say so. being assertive is always important. sometimes, there is just no flexibility in your time. Each day. if a friend needs you to help them move, and you have 3 hours that you can spare for them, be upfront about it. it is important to be up front and to stick with your boundaries. As far as time is concerned, otherwise you may feel like you are being manipulated or used. if you change your mind, then the person you are helping may think of you as a liar.
So, what do you do? If you find that your boundaries are being pressed or broken by someone else? this is a very personal question. dealing with your boundaries being broken is often the most difficult phase in setting boundaries. if you do not have strongly set and spoken of boundaries, you may find people to be resistant. you may be asked, why now? do you even love me anymore? you didn’t seem to mind yesterday.
Being assertive in these circumstances will certainly help you out. telling someone that it is personal and that it has to do with your own self-care can be effective. people who truly value, you will work with your boundaries. And we’ll not try to pressure you. for things like being hit or being manipulated, you may find that you are going to lose a friend or a relationship. but remember, this is about your own personal self, growth and spirituality. you may find that you need to limit the amount of time you spend talking to a friend or hanging out. eventually, they will come to the conclusion that they cannot do that to you. also, it is important to remember that forgiveness is important. But that it can be used as a way to walk all over you. if your relationship has become toxic and you need to end it, then just remember that while closing that door you were opening another.
Remember, always that your boundaries are about you, not them. most relationships in life and friendships, as well have boundaries in place. it is healthy and it is natural.
What is good for the goose? Is not always good for the gander. setting boundaries will lead to a happier, healthier life for you. we get to choose who is in our world and what place they have in it.
Thank you for reading, and as always. With love.
Daniel1Phoenix
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